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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Nick Na-Nick Na-Nick Nick Nick...Nickelodeon!

Recently I've received some requests to show you guys some great family friendly ideas for all budget types.  This Orlando Florida hotel, Nickelodeon Suites Resort is a great place to stay if you want a chance to be a Hero in your kid's eyes.  Staying at this colorful, slimy hotel will definitely require you parents to set aside your expectations.  This is no 5 star property, it's a full blown kids resort!  Catering almost 100% to the little tykes in your life, the Nick hotel offers daily sliming of your children, 4D movies, character breakfasts, and themed suites such as Sponge Bob, etc.  It boasts amazing water slides, a pool that is packed to the brim like you've never seen before!  Don't worry though, there is no shortage if lifeguards, and the hotel as an excellent safety record.  So, if you can handle the noise, the long lines, the green slime, and everything else that you saw watching late night Nickelodeon game shows, then you are guaranteed to impress your kids, and make memories with them that they are sure to never forget.  This hotel has great room rates, but do research in advance, because they do charge extra for most of the extra amenities.  If you're looking for a luxury children's hotel, stay at Disney, because this hotel is just for FUN, FUN, FUN, so please, no fussing, mom and dad!



                                     







Sunday, August 28, 2011

When you go to bed tonight, dream of this

In my dreams tonight, it will be me standing at the far end of this drop dead gorgeous infinity pool, about to hop in. 
But for right now, I'm here at my desk.  Which by the way looks nothing like the image above, taken on the Greek island, Santorini.

Family Friendly Vacation

San Diego - Whether your the parent, or the child, San Diego is guaranteed to please.  Unlike most vacation destinations that seem to cater just to the child, or just to the adult, this hot spot has double appeal.  Kids just wanna play at the beach all day?  Mom and Dad wanna check out some of the finest museums in the area??  Well San Diego offers about 70 miles of beach, and great museums just a short drive away at Balboa Park.  Oh, and I'm sure at one point you'll want to do something everyone can enjoy at once, so head on over to Sea World, because regardless of your age, Sea World is a ton of fun.  If you don't like getting wet, then take the family to the San Diego Zoo, once again, guaranteed to please no matter your age. 

Great Free things to do in SD:

1. Go to the beach!  With 70 miles of beaches, you're sure to find one you'll enjoy.  I recommend Mission Beach, or Pacific Beach, but any of them will do!

2. Head to La Jolla Cove and watch the sunset.  GORGEOUS.

3. Walk around Seaport Village, and window shop, people watch, hang out on the grass and watch the yachts go by, and just enjoy the fact that you're in San Diego, on vacation!

4.  Enjoy free organ concerts at 2 p.m. on Sundays at the Spreckels Organ Pavillion in Balboa Park.

5. Explore the tidepools in Point Loma at low tide and get up close and personal with flowery anemones, scampering shore crabs, elusive octopus, spongy deadman's fingers and many other magnificent sea creatures.

Philadelphia - Head on over to Philly with your family!  The compact size of the city eases mobility for those with young ones, and your kids will surely impress their teachers when they return full of new knowledge after summer vacation.  Philadelphia is full of great museums, and attractions that appeal to young children, and parents alike.  If your a foodie, then stroll down South Street, where you will find an excellent restuarant scene.  Make sure to check out the Franklin Istitute Science Museum, the Liberty Bell, and the Reading Terminal Market. 

Great Free things to do in Philly:

1. Check out Independance Hall, the building housed this country’s founding father as they adopted the Declaration of Independence and then penned the U.S. Constitution.

2. Go see the Liberty Bell.  Every child learns about this iconic bell, which led to the birth of the United States on July 8, 1776.  This bell chimed the message to the locals, to gather at Independance Hall, for the first official reading of the Declaration of Independence.  Most well known about the bell however, is its flaw, the crack which deemed it no longer able to ring, on the the anniversary of Washington's birthday in 1846. 

3. Take a tour of the U.S. Mint.  The Philly branch is open Monday through Friday, 9am-3pm, and the tours are self guided, so you can go at your own pace and you don't even need to make a reservation.  It will take you about 45 minutes at a standard pace, and you actually get to view coin production, from start to finish.  That's one of the highlights of the tour. 

4. Head to the Philadelphia Musuem of Art.  Please note, the museum does charge for enterance every day of the week, except Sundays.  On Sundays, the museum asks for donations, of any amount you wish. 

5. Go enjoy the Martin Park Nature Center.  This park is much different from your traditional park because it serves a much higher purpose. The 140 acre park is not only a recreational area, but also a wildlife sanctuary and educational facility.


San Antonio - Man I can't wait to cross this one off my bucket list.  Wondering what the heck there is to do in San Antonio??  How about: Alamo City Ghost Tours, Sea World, Six Flags Fiesta Texas, cowboy and music shows, historic parks, natural preserves, canyons and caves, just to name a few.  Oh, and parents, did I forget to mention the River Walk? Sign me up.

Great Free things to do in San Antonio:


1. If you're in San Antonio during April, head to the Fiesta San Antonio.  This is one of the largest outdoor festivals in the United States, welcoming about two and half million guests each year.  This year’s festivities will include parades, outdoor concerts, fireworks, cultural performances and food-related events.  Though not all events are free, most of those that take place in public places do not charge admission.  Some of the other attractions, such as the popular Taste of New Orleans ($10 admission), are reasonably priced.

2.The San Antonio Missions Trail is a 6-mile walkway that runs between four of the area’s historic Spanish-built missions.  Yes, it is one of the better places to walk if you are in search of an urban hiking venue, but the missions, which are part of a national historic park, are the real attraction.

3. The Alamo.  This one is hard to pass up, especially because once you get home everybody will be asking "did you see the Alamo??".  You've got to see the Mission, but it's bound to be busy given about 2.5 million people pass through it each year.  The best way to avoid the crowds is to arrive early.  Get there about 9am Monday through Friday to avoid peak crowds.  During the summer, it stays open till 7pm. 

4.  Depending on when you're in the area, San Antonio Art Walk is a great free activity to take part in, on the first Friday of every month.  Located in the Southtown area of the city, in the Arts District, you will find plenty of art displays, and also can watch several local bands performing.  All genres take part, so there will sure to be something for everybody. 

5. During the warmer months of the year, you can head on down to the Main Plaza, located in the heart of the city in front of the Alamo, and near the River Walk.  Throughout the year, there are several free concerts held here, but during the warmer months you will find dances, movie screenings, fashion shows, and theater performances.  All free to watch of course. 

Washington D.C. - When I think back of my school years, and all the summer vacations I was able to go on, THIS, is by far one of my favorite.  I do have to admit though, when I arrived at this famed "mall" I had been hearing about, I was a bit dissapointed at first.  So parents, do a little educating first.  K thanks!  The National Mall, which contains an abundance of world class museums is the absolute best place to frequent if your a family on a budget.  The key to their success: they're free. Yes Please!  Other great family attractions?  The Lincoln Memorial, the White House, the Capitol Building, etc.  The Jefferson Memorial was especially fun, after walking around the Mall all day, we got to hop in a Paddle Boat, and peddle ourselves out there.  Be sure to wear your walking shoes for a visit to D.C. 


Grand Canyon - If you're looking to cross something off of your list of things to see before you die, then head to the Grand Canyon with your family.  This destination just has a family friendly atmosphere, most likely due to the Brady Bunch, and it is sure to please.  Great for the family that has a passion for the outdoors.  Here, you can go on a variety of hikes, go kayaking, rafting, and take a ride on the Grand Canyon Railway.  The location also boasts several family friendly restaurants.  It's truely one of the most beautiful sights you ever will see. 



Yosemite - Yosemite stands with the Grand Canyon as one of the most worthwhile outdoors/adventure destinations in America. Like the Grand Canyon, the diversity of outdoor activities seems endless.  The sheer size of Yosemite, as well as all of the outdoor family friendly attracations makes this vacation spot uber popular.  Did I just say "uber"?  Ew.  Anyways...Another reason Yosemite attracts so many families each year, is its relativitly close location to San Fransisco.  Moms and Dads love that.




San Fransisco - Fisherman's Warf, Golden Gate Bridge, Nob Hill, Alcatraz, Lombard Street.  Need I say more?  There is no shortage of family friendly activities in San Fran, but they do have a HUGE downside.  EXPENSIVE.  That's why I saved it till last.  Just in case you were interested. 

Great Free things to do in San Fran:

1.  Take a guided tour of the city.  Volunteers in San Fransisco offer guided tours all year long.  The tours last between one and two hours, and there are 30 different types of tours you can chose from.

2. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.  It's just under 2 miles long, and it's a great way to make memories, and avoid the hefty toll!

3. Head to the Zoo!  Did you know the San Fransisco Zoo has free admission the first Wednesday of each month?  This is perfect for families.

4. Go sailing!  You can go on a free boat ride with the Cal Sailing Club on the first Sunday of the month between 1 and 4pm.

5.  Want to ensure your kids are seriously pleased? Then head to the Jelly Belly Factory!  If you love Jelly Beans this is a great tour to go on. You can tour this famous jelly bean factory and even receive a free Jelly Belly sample for going on the tour. All tours and visits to the factory are free.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Irene-y Mean-y

I wish there was a way to convey the pitch of my scream, as well as my blood pressure through this blog, due to Hurricane Irene. 

While I sit here, working my buns off to get everybody to and from where they need to go, I hope you all are having a fabulous evening.  Let me tell you this though, if an airport is closed, or your flight, along with all the other flights that are flying your desired route are canceled, then really, there is nothing I can do.  Also, if an airport is closed, that means the FAA has deemed the area unsafe for flight.  That means "No sir, a private jet is not an option, as it would still require you to FLY, which at this point, is just unsafe".  Yikes people. 

I'm used to people wanting me to add an extra aisle seat on the plane for them, or wanting me to build them another room at their favorite hotel because they are fully booked, but really?  Lets not be so desperate to jeopardize our safety, shall we?  If you are stuck on vacation this weekend, then just remember, time right now should be spent keeping those in dangers way, in our thoughts and prayers. 

I feel for the people who can't go home from their vacations(kind of), and for the people who might be forced to miss work(again, kind of).  However I REALLY feel for the people that will be impacted by this horrible storm. 


If your having flight complications, and  for any of you who have questions about your current itineraries, please comment below and I'll be happy to answer your questions, and help you in any way I can.





Pan Pacific, Manila

If you are traveling to Manila on a budget, then this is a fabulous hotel that will certainly leave you pleased.  The Pan Pacific, is able to offer you great rates, and amazing amenities, without forcing you to comprise quality.  This luxurious hotel, in the heart of downtown Manila, boasts a buffet breakfast every morning for guests to enjoy, butler service(yes please!), a gym, and a prime time location.  The Pan Pacific is walking distance to some of the greatest bars and restaurants downtown.  It also happens to be about a 5 minute walk from the Robinson shopping mall.  Also, keep an eye out for Mr. Manny Pacquiao himself, as the hotel is attached to a plaza, and on the third floor of that plaza is one of the most popular poker lounges you will find, and Manny, just happens to own it! 



HIATUS

I hope you folks don't think I've forgotten about you, because LORD KNOWS, that's not the case!  Thank you for patiently waiting for my return.  I'd love to say I had to leave on a last minute vacation...but actually the truth is I have a 14 month old daughter, who decided to be quite the little drama queen over a molar cutting through the gum.  TEETHING BABY= no time for mommy to blog.  So thank you for waiting, and I appreciate all of my readers!! 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My top 10 things to do while in Maui

A few years ago, I set sail to what in my opinion, is the most amazing place on earth.  Oh, and by set sail, I actually mean I saved up all my money, bought a one way ticket to Maui, and  didn't realize then that when I ran out of money, I wouldn't be able to by a plane ticket home.  Oh well, right?  Who in their right mind wants to come home from paradise anyways, especially when you live in hell(Phoenix).  Okay, I digress.  Back to the point of this post.   While in Maui, having the time of my life, I definitely didn't spare any adventure.  Here I'm putting together my most favorite things to do, while in the land of da kine. 

First things first...When you fly over and land at Kahului Airport, make a trip south to the other side of the island, via Mokulele Highway.  You'll drive through miles of sugar cane crop, and go right past the Sugar Mill.  I urge you to roll down the windows, and take a big sniff.  At first, it smells a bit like dog doo, but as you get used to it, it starts to smell like popcorn.  Seriously, it does!  I grew to love the smell, and I still miss it quite often. 

After you arrive on the south side of the Island(where all the fun is at), go west to Lahaina, or a few miles east, to Kihei, Wailea, or Makena.  There is no shortage of things to do in Lahaina, but it was never really my "thang", if you will.  WAY TO TOURISTY.  Anyways, if you head to Kihei, have lunch at Pizza Madness.  It's a true local pizza goodness gem. 


After you eat your pizza, head next door to Maui Dive Shop.  Rent or buy everything you'll need for your water fun.  Maui Dive Shop also offers snorkel cruises you can go along on, and they promise a very fun time.  Their main boat, the Ali'i Nui can often times be seen out and about on the water.  If your a diver, Elua is a super convenient location.  You can suit up, and just walk on in.  No shortage of sea turtles, eels, and the state fish, humuhumunukunukuapua'a.  Say that ten times fast. 


If you like to head out at night for a drink and some shenanigans, head to the Triangle in Kihei.  Okay, so there is no place actually named the "triangle", but its a couple bars on a corner lot, that kinda make up the general shape of a triangle.  That's not the point. The point is, it's fun.  They have a Tiki Lounge, and Irish Pub, and a couple other random establishments.  Oh, and the Irish Pub, called Dog and Duck, has trivia nights, and the whole bar plays.  Very fun.  


If you are a hiker, and love the outdoors, then I I highly suggest two things.  First and foremost, Swinging Bridges hike in Waihe'e.  This is the most fun I have ever had on a hike.  In my whole life.  I felt like I was in a jungle movie.  And when you reach the end, oh my god.  Pure glory. There is truly no other way to describe this hike.  IT WILL MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN GOD, and I'm obsessed with it. 







The end of the hike, AMAZING.

There are millions of things to do outdoors in Hawaii, and my second suggestion for the outdoorsy type, is the Maui Zip Line. 


Enough said!

When you run out of money, the very best thing to do, is free!  Just head to the beach, my favorite, and a local hang out, is Charley Young beach.  I can't tell you how many hours I hung out here.  It's perfect, and there is a great little shade tree you can sit under.  Thank god I never had to sleep under it.  What, you think I'm kidding?  Some people do(sleep under it). 





This is only a teeny tiny fraction of the amazing things Maui has to offer, and they are purely based on things I like to do, because I'm selfish.  However, if you prefer things more glitzy or glamy, or you are curious about what else Maui offers, then feel free to comment this post, and I'll answer any questions you have. 

Mandarin Oriental, Manila



Whether you're going to Manila for business or for leisure, the Mandarin Oriental Manila, will NOT disappoint.  This hotel, like almost any Mandarin hotel you will stay at, offers exquisite service, top notch rooms and accommodations, and a Club Floor that is sure to pamper you till you just can't be pampered anymore(if that's even possible).  The only complaint about this place that I've heard, is that the rooms are a bit dated.  However, if feeling like a celebrity is what you have in mind on your next trip, then this hotel comes highly recommended.







Monday, August 22, 2011

When you go to bed tonight, dream of this

Tonight, while discussing the "sweetdreams" part of this blog, my friend suggested I share with you guys about Morocco.  To which I replied "UM thanks but no thanks".  Literally, two seconds later my phone rang, and a gentleman said "Look, I'm going to morocco and I need some help planning all this crap".  SIGN? I think so.  Morocco for some reason, has never really interested me, but while doing research with this gentleman, and looking at several things to do, places to explore, and where he should stay, I have to admit I got a bit intrigued. Morocco has several popular destinations, including Marrakech, Casablanca, Tangier, Fes, the Atlas Mountains, and Meknes. Morocco is also famous for its beaches and some the best seaside towns are represented by Essaouira, Tangier and Asilah.  Here I'll list some of the best things to do, should you find yourself in Morocco!

1. Get a scrub at a local Hammam
2. Take a cooking class
3. Get lost in the tanneries (Leather Bazaars that have been around since the midieval times)
4. Go surfing
5. Stay in a Riad(Traditional homes converted into hotels)

There are many things to do, I highly suggest adding this destination to your bucket list.  Also, learning how to cook traditional moroccan food, and soaking in a hammam sounds seriously relaxing/romantic.  I love the colors of Morocco, personally.  Hmmm I'll definitely be dreaming of this tonight.  Also, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stay at the Amanjena Resort, in Marrakech.  This is the ONLY, I repeat only, Aman hotel on the entire continent of Africa.  So please, don't miss out on that opprotunity...and thank you. PS-Book your rooms there well in advance, they fill up quickly.  Book your rooms here: http://www.amanresorts.com/amanjena/home.aspx







Find yourself in Morocco? Here's some important things to consider:

You should be aware of religious sensitivities in Morocco.
Morocco has a poor road safety record.
You should take out comprehensive travel and medical insurance before travelling.
Local laws reflect the fact that Morocco is an Islamic country.
Homosexuality is a criminal offence in Morocco. Sexual relations outside marriage are also punishable by law.
362,000 UK tourists visited Morocco in 2009 (Source: Moroccan Ministry of Tourism). Most visits are trouble free.Women, especially when travelling alone, will attract attention.

Celebrating the Philippines

This week at work, my team is celebrating the Philippines!  Every day throughout the week, I'll showcase some luxury hotels, as well as some for the more money conscience as well.  Most likely, when you think of the Philippines, you don't think "fabulous vacation", or "luxury retreat".  The Philippines however, is a very lush, tropical destination that has a lot to offer.  Today's hotel is the Amanpulo.  Part of the Aman collection of luxury hotels throughout the world, this property will not disappoint! It's located on a private island in the Quinluban group near Cuyo Islands in the Philippines.  It also boasts the only private airstrip in the country as well.  Its surrounded by beautiful white sand beaches, crystal clear waters and coral reef.  Its a great host to snorkelers, scuba divers, and other water based activities such as windsurfing, etc.  It's also a popular marriage destination.  Things don't get much more romantic than this:








Thinking about traveling to the Philippines?  Here's some good advice:

The best time to make a trip to the Philippines is from the middle of December to the middle of May because that is off-season for typhoons.


It is advisable to bring light and loose clothing that are suitable for tropical temperatures when visiting the cities of Philippines.


Unlike most Asian countries, the culture of tipping in the Philippines' service industry is becoming more prevalent with much influence from western countries


Shops located outside of Manila don't usually follow a fixed schedule or business hours due to shop owners' attitude of 'whatever happens' (Bahala na).


Book your stay at Amanpulo now!   http://www.amanresorts.com/amanpulo/home.aspx

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Where in I tell you to go to Hell...

...Grand Cayman that is!


Yes that's right, Hell is the name of a very popular spot on Grand Cayman, located amongst the Cayman Islands.  It's a group of black limestone formations located along the west bay of Grand Cayman, and although you cant actually touch or go near the limestone, they do have several viewing platforms, and it's usually quite a busy place to be,  because it happens to be a stop for cruise ship tours. 

Thinking of visiting Hell? Or another spot in Cayman? Then here are some tips:

 By law, most businesses in Cayman close on Sundays.
A rental car is your best bet for getting around.
The hurricane season in the Cayman Islands normally runs from June to November.
The local currency is the Cayman Islands Dollar (CI$) however the US dollar is widely accepted throughout the islands.

When you go to bed tonight, dream of this




The Maldives.  They are sinking, so lets go visit them(in our dreams) before they are gone forever.








Thinking about going to the Maldives? Here's some advice:

While in Male, you should avoid demonstrations, and beware of spontaneous gatherings, due to recent politcal unrest.

Alcoholic beverages are only available on resort islands and should not be taken off a resort.

Local laws reflect the fact that Maldives is an Islamic country and serious violations of local laws may lead to a prison sentence.

You should avoid demonstrations and beware of spontaneous gatherings. A number of protests have recently taken place in Malé.

A bit of an understatement gov'na

You know what makes for a crappy nights sleep?  Realizing you leave tomorrow for Providenciales, Turks and Caico...and your enemy, hurrican Irene, is also on her way.  That sucks, but thats why airlines offer fully refundable airline tickets...Just for you, YEAH YOU, the person who decided to head to the Caribbean smack in the middle of hurrican season. 


Thinking of going to the Caribbean during hurricane season? (June-November) Here's a tip:

Instead of the more commonly visited locations such as The Bahamas, Virgin Islands, Turks and Caico, etc....
Check out Aruba, or Curacao instead.  They are further south, and are very rarely compromised by hurricane activity, due to their location off the beaten path. 

Where in I get an offer

A few weeks ago, I was working with a gentleman who was booking flights to Costa Rica.  We had been talking for a bit, and I was asking him about his trip, the reason for the travel, and some of his immediate concerns.  When he mentioned to me his departure date from New York, he said July, 15th.  Well, this so happens to be my birthday!  I told him I'd be living vicariously through him on my birthday, since he was going on such a fun vacation.   We laughed a bit, and he said "well you have my credit card number, get yourself a seat next to me!"   Tempting...but extremely against the rules.  Then he goes, "well if I find myself sittin next to a pretty young lady, and she starts nudging my arm, I'll know its you".  I hope he had a girl next to him on that flight, and I hope said girl, accidently nudged his arm.  I'D LOVE TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL OF THAT PLANE!



Going to Costa Rica?  Here's some helpful tips:

Use only red taxis with red license plate numbers, and when you get in, look at the meter and make sure it's set to zero.

Leave your passports and documents secured in your hotel safe, along with any other valubles.  Take with you copies, rather than the genuine documents.

Also, check out lonelyplanet.com, or fodors.com for destination advice, and tripadvisor.com for hotel reviews and recommendations.

Something to consider for next time you have the urge to fly…

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.


Check out their new livery!
And have a read about their Customer Relations.






Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg.
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

                 ---o0o---

On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

                 ----o0o---

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

                 ----o0o---

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

                 ---o0o---

"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

                 ---o0o---

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop atDurban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella WHOA!"

                 ---o0o--

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

                 ---o0o---

From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth.
To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

                 ---o0o---

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."

                 ---o0o---

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

                 ----o0o---

"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

                 ---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

                 ---o0o---

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

                 ---o0o—

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landingin Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

                 ---o0o—

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

                 ---o0o—

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

                 ---o0o—

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

                 ---o0o—

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal…"

                 ---o0o—

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

                 ---o0o—

Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you
can light'em, you can smoke'em."

                 ---o0o---

Where in I explain myself

vi·car·i·ous: experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another <a vicarious thrill>